+49 (0) 89 23719825 julia@buhmann.consulting

Setting boundaries

– treating yourself with respect


In both our professional and private lives, we often do things that we don’t really agree with and that we should have said no to.

Why is this? It’s because boundaries are still not accepted in our society. This often starts in childhood, with parents brushing the boundaries aside, then later it’s our teachers, and after that our bosses, colleagues and/or business partners. Questioning these behaviors is not at all welcome and when they are, we often hear the phrase, “Because that’s just the way it is…..”.

The overstepping of boundaries is not healthy for people. In order to become a self-empowered person, it is important to have a clearly defined inner realm where you can govern yourself and your personal interests.

By learning to say “no”, we are able to define our boundaries clearly. It is also important to be able to say “no” to certain situations and behaviors.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Observe your daily life. In which situations do you allow others to overstep your boundaries? Are they always the same situations and/or the same people?
  • Reflect on these situations How did they make you feel? Why did you agree to something you didn’t want?
  • Start consistently setting boundaries and saying no to small things. You will then gradually get better at extending this to larger situations.
  • Pause before you make a decision or commit to something. Check in with yourself and see if it feels right and good. It’s best to sleep on it for a night.

You will see that over time this will become a habit. It might even be fun to say “no” and stand up for yourself and your interests.


Do you need support with understanding your patterns and implementing new ones? I am happy to help you. Please get in touch at julia@buhmann.consulting

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