– Understanding Interpersonal Relationships Differently

People grow up under different conditions and have different experiences throughout their lives. Our upbringing and our life experiences continuously shape us.

When people with different backgrounds meet, this can often lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding. This can be because we are triggered- or have a negative emotional response due to a past experience in which we felt similar. For example- you don’t feel heard and so you become angry or sad.

It is helpful if you can identify and actively recognize what triggers you. When you become aware that the cause of the emotion you are feeling is from a past experience (which would then be considered a trigger), rather than the other person’s behavior, this has the potential to change a great many things for you. You are in a position to make positive changes in your life, allowing yourself to move from the passive role of the victim into the active role of the creator.

Observe yourself. Are there situations that you repeatedly find yourself in which spark negative feelings? Perhaps with the same people or even certain words? Pay attention when you have these experiences. Re-visit your past and notice if you have had similar instances in your life. Perhaps you were once hurt by someone and now these present situations, people or words, touch an emotional wound. With this awareness, you can start working on what triggers you. Take a deep breath and understand that it is not the current situation that is causing you to feel this way, but a situation that has actually long since passed. This will help you judge the situation differently and respond differently as well. It takes time and effort to change these imbedded behaviors, so be patient with yourself and stay awake and aware to each and every situation that life presents.

If you would like to learn more about understanding and working with what triggers you and how to release them, I’m happy to help. Please contact me at julia@buhmann.consulting and we’ll explore this path together.